Dr. John A. King Author on Manhood 101
Prepared to Protect: Provision, Protection, Presence
I recently sat down with Men’s Therapy Online to talk about what I believe a man is for. Not perfect. Not posturing. Prepared.
Prepared to provide for his family.
Prepared to protect the people entrusted to him.
Prepared to be present when his inner circle needs him.
That doesn’t mean every man has to know how to shoot, hunt, or choke someone out. It does mean he has equipped himself for the life he actually lives.
What I mean by “protect”
Protection starts before a crisis. It looks like:
- Situational awareness. Eyes up, distractions down.
- Basic skills. First aid, stopping a bleed, safe driving, knowing your neighborhood.
- A simple plan. Who calls whom, where you meet, what you grab when something goes sideways.
- A capable body. You don’t have to be a fighter, but you should be able to put on gloves and have a go. Strength is not aggression; it is responsibility.
For me, I trained in certain tools because I want to take care of my family. That’s my choice. Your context will shape yours.
What I mean by “provide”
Provision is more than a paycheck. It is food on the table, order in the home, and stability when the world wobbles.
If I have to stack lumber at Home Depot to feed my household, I will. Pride does not pay the bills. Provision is not about ego; it is about love expressed as consistency.
What I mean by “presence”
Presence is the daily work of showing up. Listening. Restraining anger. Apologizing quickly. Keeping promises. Calling the mate who is slipping. Presence is the quiet weight that says, “You can lean on me.”
The spiritual head of the house
I believe men are called to lead with humility under the Creator. That looks like:
- Priest: Guard the atmosphere of your home. Pray. Bless. Keep short accounts.
- King: Set priorities and boundaries. Create safety and order.
- Prophet: Look ahead and say, “This is the path. Walk in it.” Hold a vision big enough for your family to grow into.
None of this means domination. It means service. The measure of your leadership is the flourishing of those you lead.
A simple blueprint to start today
- Get honest about gaps. Where are you unprepared: finances, fitness, conflict, skills, spiritual life? Name it.
- Choose one capacity to build. Boxing class, first-aid cert, budgeting, counseling, date night, morning prayer. Start small. Start now.
- Write a family safety plan. Contacts, meeting point, basics in the car and house. Keep it simple. Review it quarterly.
- Strength train twice a week. Strong enough to carry a kid to the car or a bag of feed up the stairs.
- Serve someone weaker. Mentor a younger man. Volunteer. Teach what you learn. Service cures self-absorption.
- Tell the truth. About fear. About failure. About what you will do differently this week.
For those who love men
Call men up, not out. Ask, “How can I support you as you take this on?” Celebrate quiet faithfulness. It is not flashy, but it is the foundation everything else rests on.
To continue the conversation follow on
Dr. John A. King (Th.D.)or on social media @drjohnaking.
Question: What is one capacity you will build this month—protect, provide, or be present—and what is your first step?